It's weird af that I had a rough day since it's after exams and I'm not at home (read: no reason to make me upset). But today I went to consult someone respectable on my plans, like I've been doing for the past week.
That person obviously didn't mean to make me upset. Nothing he said could've been construed as being mean or hurtful. Not even remotely.
(Partially because dude is so polite I sometimes wonder if he memorized social rules the way people learnt legal ones.)
But perhaps because I thought my plans were solid and the only thing left in my way was convincing my parents I could do it. And when I've planned something and I am told I should rethink it, I get automatically defensive.
The difference is I was talking to someone respectable so there was no way I could be defensive, nor was it my instinctive reaction. I accepted everything he told me because I knew he was right. I just didn't want to face it and didn't think I would have to face it.
So I was angry with myself for, again, not getting better grades. My lack of grades will hold me back for the rest of my life and I hate the fact that I cannot and could not have controlled it any better despite what the whole world thinks. I was upset that my ambitions were again, further than I thought.
I spent the whole 2h journey to Windsor sobbing and I still haven't felt better. Because I know I am screwed and there's nothing much I can do about it.
But in between all of this, I felt oddly grateful.
Someone this established needn't have taken time to be my mentor, but he did. Someone this respectable needn't made my concern one of his, even for 15 minutes, but he did. And because he was the right person saying the right thing at the right time, I was suddenly put back into the state I should always have been in: one that always tries to be better instead of one that settles.
I vaguely recall this article I read when I first started working, about how successful people help others succeed because they know there's room at the top. I haven't come across anyone remotely fitting of this description since I came over because my law experience has been flooded with people lying, people pretending and people trying to size up others.
But on this day, on the second last week of my status as a student of this law school, I found someone who reinstated my faith in this field.
That's a super inspiring individual that I now feel super grateful to have befriended (private joke here, but you get the drift). He deserves every ounce of his brilliance because he's super capable of using his intellect to benefit this world.
Today was International Law revision day. I've actually been looking forward to it after all that Trusts/Commercial. (And Employment you know is just better off as coursework unit.)
So anyway, I read on Twitter that one of my IL profs was running a roundtable with fellow academics, barristers, public servants, etc on two recent cases that appeared to me to be on issues of immunity and jurisdiction.
And then I went.
I'm not sure what made me go since it was 3.5 hours of one revision day. I suspect a big part of it was because I'm into my last couple of weeks in an academic setting and I really wanted to make full use of it. I have never been the sort to study for the sake of results, and to me it is much more important that I learn meaningful and interesting things. That is why I chose Sociology then, and I don't think that part of me has changed very much.
Anyway so then I went.
I was the only non-PhD student there so I felt really out of place (ok I also felt out of place because I only understood like 30% of what was going on), especially with all that networking going on... it felt like good old days at work. The prof tried to make me talk as well which was even worse because at least, back in the good old days of work, there was still some sort of holding line I could give.
At some point during the networking the prof and another prof (the legendary one who taught us Juris last year) came by to talk to me and one of their first questions to me was ARE YOU THINKING OF DOING FURTHER STUDIES?
I guess because the other students there were PhD or post-doctorate. And I guess if you attend this sort of session people expect that you're passionate about this kind of topic. (I mean it says a lot that I went for this one but skipped the Environmental Law seminar a couple of weeks back. I could've presented my FYRP at that one but I decided not to go.)
Obviously neither of them know that this whole law thing was supposed to be 'further studies' in its own right considering I already have a degree, but because I was so stunned by the question, I mumbled something along the lines of having no plans to because I heard it's quite difficult to get in.
So second prof said, with a laugh, "well 'hard' is relative, and there are people who would find it 'hard' to get into this law school but here you are."
See that is the thing that people don't get. And they never do. There is this silent expectation that everyone who is in law school came here rather naturally.
Wang Lee Hom didn't write this song for me to abuse it like that, but the title says it all for me.
Some people have problems getting into law school, some people have problems surviving law school, some people have problems getting a job after law school and some people will never consider doing further studies in law because it is just too 'hard' for them.
These profs, being brilliant as they are (I like both of them very much so this is not sarcastic), will never know.
PS: Regarding my last entry, I'm taking it as case closed because nothing conclusive was told to me about criminal liability.
It's one of those dramas you kinda know won't be good but you watch it anyway because you're a sucker for the cast.
Starring Tony Hung and Priscilla Wong, who have paired up so many times since making their debut as hosts of a travelogue and Raymond Wong, whom we haven't seen in a long time, Married But Available was a stupid tale of how a couple decided to get married on a whim but found themselves forced to hide it from their colleagues. Because nobody knows they are married, colleagues and acquaintances from a long time ago start finding their way into their relationship.
Stupid doesn't even cut it. It's unrealistic and pathetic compared to the other dramas we've seen this trio in. Like Swipe. Tap. Love.. I gave STL a pretty weak review back in 2014, but looking back it was a pretty decent drama I probably wouldn't mind watching again.
Back to the cast. I was first annoyed that Tony Hung was playing the male lead and Raymond Wong the second. Why? Because Raymond Wong is freaking established compared to Tony Hung and after STL I would kill to watch Raymond Wong and Priscilla Wong play a couple again. Do I want to watch Tony Hung and Priscilla Wong play a couple - knowing their real-life relationship?
Do I want to watch Raymond Wong as the irritating second male lead considering the last time I saw him he was an unforgivable jerk in Overachievers? (He did make a cameo in Every Step You Take, but that barely counts.)
We also have Priscilla Wong and Alice Chan crossing swords again, mere months after Two Steps from Heaven. And Kelly Fu, who was actually also in STL! But nobody remembers she was in there - I do however remember that I just watched her a couple of weeks ago in Burning Hands. If she's gunning to steal Most Improved from the likes of Moon Lau and Sisley Choi I'd say she's almost there or there already. (These days it feels like TVB's left with nobody so we keep watching the same faces. The side characters in this are also people we see in every other drama these days, like C Kwan and Jacquelin Chng.)
But there were two members of the cast I was extremely happy to watch. One of them was Hugo Goh, who is most famous for being a rapist in Brothers' Keeper II and an abusive father in Burning Hands. This role of his' was mildly comedic and very amicable.
The other is Joseph Lee Kwok Lun, who is a familiar face to anyone who watches TVB. Except he's usually so cruelly evil that nobody likes him. Here he played an extremely compelling village chief. Irritating, but very adorable. He's definitely a strong contender for Best Supporting this year.
If you think I'm going on too much about the cast and not telling you much about the story it's because there wasn't much of a story to begin with. The biggest question was whether Priscilla Wong would end up with Raymond Wong or Tony Hung and even that question wasn't very important anymore once Tony Hung slept with Kelly Fu.
Told you stupid doesn't even cut it!
The ending is even more ridiculous. But you have to watch it to know because even though I've already revealed a huge spoiler here, it's so ridiculous that you should watch it for yourself.
I am going to rave about the theme song, though, because I love it.
The MV is a little awkward since Stephanie Ho x Fred Cheng don't quite make a handsome couple. But the two are individually awesome, particularly Fred Cheng who is all the rage now (he did the closing theme for the currently airing Gallen Lo drama Provocateur, for which he is also the impressive second male lead,and also for the new Kenneth Ma drama Mind Hunter).
All in all, I'm surprised I even survived this drama. But truth be told, I only survived it cos I barely watched any of it. Each episode took me about 10min. Conclusion: don't waste your time. I'm currently watching Provocateur and I'd admit it's super draggy and predictable, but at least the story is a bit more sensible. The cast is pretty impressive too.
And if you've given up on TVB altogether, Taiwan's got a pretty decent line-up of late.
There's Just For You starring Jolin Chien, Patrick Lee, Vera Yen and Esther Huang on weekdays (I absolutely adore Jolin and will watch anything with him in it these days - he's amazing as usual and finally playing male lead; the Patrick Lee and Esther Huang couple is also rather interesting to watch), and The Perfect Match starring Ivy Shao, Wu Kang Ren, Ben Wu and Lawrence Liu,on Fridays (yes, the thought of Wu Kang Ren in a sugar-coated SETTV drama is weird af. The tabloids think he's back to repay the favour - since he did make it big after SETTV cast him in Autumn's Concerto several years ago - while he claimed he's back to 'fight a war' against the lack of resources in the industry now). There is also The Masked Lover starring Weber Yang, Deyn Li and Peter Kuan, and an upcoming Vidol drama The Man From Future starring the nation's younger brother Derek Chang and Lyan Cheng.