I realized that I only ever blog these days when things don't go well. So for the past few weeks when I was happy and dandy I didn't update that I got decent grades in the end, didn't have to cut myself in shame, found the confidence to apply for a really interesting job... And also did the usual like celebrate July birthdays with SHG and attend our first ever wedding as a group.
Today I'm here because I woke up with a bronchitis diagnosis that for some reason made me depressed af. On top of that I realized that this person I've been chatting with wasn't working out. I also have no dramas to watch because for some reason Legal Mavericks is stuck at ep 14. So I'm bored, sick and disappointed.
I knew this whole dating shit would leave me like that so I have always maintained that I wasn't the type and it wasn't for me. But yet I decided to try, knowing full well it won't work for me but secretly wishing for a miracle like I always do from family to friends to my entire law career.
So now I am here, nine days after trying (without meeting the person thank goodness). Sick and sad that I let this happen knowingly. Because if I had just stuck by my gut feel I wouldn't be lying in bed typing this.
I believe that every part of my life is precious and should be enjoyed (no matter how tough) because I'll never experience this again. But times like that I just feel like I wasted time trying to fit everyone's mould.
If I were the conventional type, you guys, I wouldn't be me already. I may not be a special snowflake,but this dating shit is definitely not for me.
Thank you for "dating" me for nine freaking days. That alone is an achievement and also thank you for handling all those embarrassing moments so well. All the best on the app, Spidey.